The main objective of marriage should be peace, happiness and satisfaction to both partners. Let’s look at top ten mistakes on the part of men that end up ruining their marriage.
Always Leaving His Wife Alone
This is perhaps one of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage. Instead of returning home after a long day at work to meet his wife, a man may following it up by hanging out with couple of friends for a beer or two. Then, when he eventually gets home, he gets occupied with a game of baseball or computer poker. The weekends is worse, he is never around. One of the most miserable experiences for a wife is that feeling of seclusion when her husband is physically and emotionally out of the relationship. The woman spends a lot of time taking care of the kids, home and partaking in activities outside of her husband. But without the presence of her husband, it’s not the same. Her desire is to spend time with you, the man she loves. To be left alone by her husband causes deep heartache for women. When she feels abandoned by you, she resorts to hurtful and disrespectful behavior. Her ability to verbally hurt you is her strongest weapon, and she uses it out of fear in an effort to try to get your attention.
When a wife begins to nag because you never spend time at home, never hang out with her, and never engage with the kids, chances are she is feeling abandoned and isolated. This will widen the emotional distance between you two.
Not Getting Close Enough
Your wife feels invigorated when she feels close to you. Refusing to let her know you is destructive to her and your marriage. While you attempt to keep your independence, she longs to connect with you in all aspects. It is not fair to either of you if you are only warm and attentive on the days you want sex from her. Affection and closeness should not be a means to a different end in a relationship.
Apart from talking to her, other simple ways to fulfill your wife in this area are to hug her often, hold her hand, and to spend some time alone with her, and even flutter around her when she is preparing meals in the kitchen. When her need for closeness is met, she will be more disposed to respect you. When your wife feels close to you, she will also be more willing to engage with you on a more intimate, sexual level.
Try talking to her about your day, your hopes, and dreams. Hold her hand when you go out together. Kiss her unexpectedly in the kitchen while she prepares meal. A little bit will go a long way and mean everything to her. Remember, a happy woman makes a happy home.
Taking All the Fun Out of Sex
Sex should be fun when you are married. Sex is different from intimacy. It would be selfish to focus on your own pleasure or orgasm. You must note:
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- Don’t only show interest in your wife when you want to get lucky.
- Don’t cheapen the depth of your sexual relationship with unsophisticated jokes and pornography. Don’t expect her to get excited instantly.
- Don’t neglect your wife’s sexual needs.
- When you are married, sex is supposed to be fun.
All marriages have conflict, that’s a fact. However, refusal to say “am sorry” when you are wrong, is a quick way to destroy your marriage. Most women apologize to move forward through the fight and to seek peace. However, many husbands see apologizing as a sure sign of weakness, this is very wrong. They think, “If I apologize, she won’t respect me.” On the contrary, if you humbly apologize and ask her forgiveness, that small act of remorse pacifies her spirit, and acts as a healing balm over her heart. Also, it shows that you’re open and willing to make things work. It shows that you care enough to acknowledge to your mistakes.
Taking Her Insecurities for Granted
Your wife has committed her life to you, and wants to feel safe in the fact that you are equally committed to her. When you stare at other women publicly in her presence, she fears that you may be unfaithful and at the very least, it may make her uncomfortable. It’s normal for her to feel this way, especially if she has eyes only for you. Notwithstanding, she is apprehensive and needs your reassurance, not any demeaning, flippant, or teasing. These activities all diminishes her feelings, which are real. When you stare at a cute young thing as she saunters by, it may be a reminder to your wife of her many deficiencies. She feels insecure because she wants to know that you still love her and you looking at other women may not be so reassuring of that.
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Marrying the Wrong Woman
A hypercritical woman who criticizes your every decision will continue to complain. A woman who is a control freak will always want to be in control, even after the wedding. The bottom line is: if she is the wrong woman before the marriage, she’ll still be the wrong woman when and after you get married.
You should date a nice woman and marry her if you want a nice wife. Treat her with love and respect and she will in turn generously return the gesture. A strong marriage flourishes as you both grow in love and respect toward each other.
Getting Lost in Anger
Women like to talk things out whenever there’s a misunderstanding by expressing their feelings. Men like to keep things locked up. When you feel stressed money, work, your relationship, or other issues, don’t keep in locked up in anger. This provokes your wife’s fear of abandonment and rejection.
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She thinks you don’t love her when you refuse to talk things over with her. She wants to talk it out, not to depreciate or demean you. She wants you to trust her, so she can trust you. She knows something is wrong, and she begins to assume that she is the problem since you decided to keep everything bottled up within you.
Not Taking Responsibility
Most husbands blame their wives for their weaknesses. You may hear a man saying, “She makes me drink a lot because of her constant nagging.” Or something like, “I cheated because she doesn’t care for me anymore.” Whether it’s an addiction, an affair or poor performance in your marital life, many times, husbands point to their wives as the reason for their flaws. This is very wrong.
Learn to take full responsibility for your own behavior. Make your life replicate the values you desire. Stand up and take control of your actions, instead of taking it out on your wife. You can create exactly the life you want. Additionally, if your wife really is the cause of all the problems in your life, then take control of that as well and tell her the truth. She can’t change if you are unwilling to express the issue.