How to Train Yourself to Be a Kind Person

Steps to Becoming a Kind Person

Anyone can do a kind deed here and there but what does it take to become a kind person?

You have to learn the basics in order to be a kind person. What does it take to become a kind person? You have to train yourself to become a keen listener and a conscientious observer. Have a sympathetic/compassionate heart and be willing to lend a helping hand to someone in need. You have to be sincere and generous. These may sounds pretty easy, but it takes practice to get good at it and for kindness to become an integral part of you.

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First of all, don’t knock yourself out trying to be nice all of the time. It’s highly unlikely that any human being has ever accomplished that task. Everybody has bad days where they can’t focus on anything other than what makes them feel indifferent, depressed, or angry. They, also, have great days where they can’t focus on anything other than what makes them feel good, happy, or proud.

On the bad days, try to find ways to make yourself feel better; but, remember it’s important not to be mean to anyone else either. On those days, not being mean might be the kindest thing you can do. Keep to yourself if you have to. In addition, if someone needs something from you while you’re basking in your happiness, don’t beat yourself up if you feel you weren’t as attentive as you “should have” been.

There’s no rule that says you have to brush your happiness aside to be kind to others. Enjoy your moment and make up for it later with a kind gesture to accommodate whatever the person needed or to offer another solution or to talk about it. After you get the basics down, being kind will become second nature to you, maybe even first.

  1. Become a keen listener

Hearing may be easy for most people, but listening is where things tend to fall apart. Commonly, when one person is speaking, the other person they are speaking to may be thinking about what they want to say. As a result, the listener may have caught a few key words of what the other person said and can usually piece together the conversation is about but they don’t have a clear understanding for full partaking in the chat.

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While you’re having a conversation with someone, the best way to begin to overcome a habit of hearing but not listening is to listen as though you will be questioned on what was said later. At first, this may feel uncomfortable to you. You may even feel like you’re cheating somehow. Hang in there and those feelings will fade away later. Gradually, listening with your full attention will add much more substance to the discussion and bring more essence to your response.

  1. Become a conscientious observer

You have to be able to spot the signs that people in need of help welcome your aid and you need to figure out in what way you can help, in order to help somebody feel better. Pay attention to body language and facial expressions because this play an important role in assisting you understand what you see on the surface and what lies beyond it. Most people have an innate ability to read other people by watching their body movements or by looking at the faces they make.

However, most people refuse to acknowledge what they witness to help someone because they may be too busy or they don’t recognize the importance of the matter; or quite commonly, their self-consciousness may keep them from reaching out. Don’t let fear stand in your way of doing the right thing. Trust that your instincts is trying to tell you something but question what exactly it is that you need to take from them in order to have a more complete grasp on the reality of what is. Being aware of the intricate details of what you see and perceive will help you differentiate what it is you can do to make somebody’s day a little bit brighter. However, if the happenstance appears to be dangerous, think of ways that you may help from far off.

  1. Have a Sympathetic Heart

To feel sympathy for someone, you have to feel compassion. Sympathy is different from compassion. The difference between the two is that with sympathy, your compassion begins in your soul and goes beyond sorrow. You internalize the thoughts and feelings of somebody else and help them out of their predicament.

For instance, you are being sympathetic when you see a homeless woman sitting in the cold with her child and you empathetically think, “How sad; she must be cold.” You kindly offer her a cup of coffee and go about your day. However, you are being compassionate when in that same instance, you notice the misery in the mother’s face. You imagine what it must be like for them, and you imagine what this mother must be thinking, “I wish I had money to get a room for my child tonight,” and you picture yourself sitting there freezing, all the while feeling the coldness in your bones and the harsh wind on your cheek hoping that your child doesn’t become ill, even though, in actuality you’re looking at them through the window of a warm car; then, you are empathizing with them.

You may even offer to put them up for the night or longer if need be. In order to be a kind person, you will have to have a good measure of both sympathy and empathy. However, no act of kindness is too small.

  1. Become generous and eager to lend a helping hand

The good thing about being generous is that you don’t have to have any money to do it. One of the best gifts you can give to someone is your time. While donations to charities are helpful and reveal the kindness of their patrons, many people can barely afford to get by. Volunteering is an excellent way to learn the importance of kindness.

  1. Be sincere

Sometimes, when people share their plights with you, they don’t want advice, or solutions at that moment. They may only want to be heard, get it off their chest, or to be consoled, comforted and reassured.

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Therefore, it’s important to listen with a keen ear, respond accordingly, decide or ask whether there is anything you could say or do to help. Try to be honest. Though you don’t have to be brutally honest. Usually, you can avoid making hurtful comments by offering heartfelt suggestions or solutions or by getting involved to bring about the changes to eliminate the problem.

Don’t forget that most people have an intuitive sense when “something’s not right.” If you lie, they will feel it. Trust grows over time but when it’s broken it takes a long time to rebuild. When you give wholeheartedly, your kindness has the potential to build their self-confidence, self-reliance, and overall respect and admiration in mankind.

Be kind to animals too

Animals deserve to be treated with kindness too. If you are kind to people but mean to animals, it means you aren’t kind at all. If you are not an animal person, the least you can do to help an injured or abandoned animal in despair is to leave them for people who will give them the love and care. If you want to get a pet, read up on their characteristics and be sure they fit into your lifestyle before getting one.


Some people and animals experience little or no kindness in their lives. Think about what it feels like to be them. Reach out and show them that you care. Let them know that kindness is not just a word. Reach out and make a difference.

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